Growing up with insecurities has always felt like a rollercoaster. For a long time, I overlooked my own milestones, brushing past moments that deserved recognition. Those experiences taught me invaluable lessons; especially now, at 29, I’ve come to understand the importance of self love—one that grounds me, empowers me, and allows me to face life’s challenges with confidence, even in moments of uncertainty.

Let me tell you a story about my childhood, a time when I faced bullies at school who thrived on shaming others. The scars from that experience ran deep as I made my way into my teenage years. I became introverted and guarded, struggling to build meaningful friendships thereafter. I developed a habit of blaming myself when things went wrong, leading me to become people-pleaser, constantly chasing validation and approval from others, and often putting their needs before my own even if it meant inconvenience.

Fast forward to my 29-year-old self, I experienced loss, something that made me question my worth. I lost my sense of identity in a way that I tied my own worth to external matters.

I hit rock bottom.

It was a year when the weight of my own thoughts felt heaviest. Even in moments of silence, heaviness lingered turning silence into an uncomfortable space. The simplest tasks and hobbies that once gave me joy became daunting challenges. I was easily overstimulated, and I struggled to find joy from the things I used to love.

But I’ve always believed that pain demands to be felt, a quote I came across from the book The Perks of Being a Wallflower. And what I came to love about hitting rock bottom is that there’s nowhere to go but up.

I learned the importance of guarding my heart with strong boundaries rather than walls harder to penetrate. I have faced challenges from people who have tested my patience, pushed my buttons carelessly and caused me pain without apologies. Yet, I choose to respond with kindness and understanding, striving to never be like them.

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I learned that healing starts within myself, and I am constantly battling that even to this day. I have slowly started to let go of the things that no longer serve me—resentments, fear, the constant need for validation, and the deliberate sense of wanting to have control over things, and that’s when I began to see the world differently again by holding myself with the same understanding and grace I’ve always given away for others so freely.